6th October
I was at St Mary's school again. Darkness slowly enveloped
the building, leaving it to appear disfigured and undeniably miserable. Bare
trees besieged the building forming a natural fence created by Mother Nature
herself. It was as if thousands of spindly hands were pleading to God to return
their emerald cloaks. The weathered stonewalls barely exceeded the height of
the naked trees. Monstrous crescent windows allowed only glimpses of the real
world to enter St Mary's school. Despite the cacophony of noise from the children,
emptiness had not failed to ensure everyone knew its presence.
Enthusiasm was extinct in my biology class and nothing but
gloom and misery remained. Mr Arnold's poor attempt to engage the students made
me pity him. I sat in the back of the class next to the window. Charlotte, the
girl in front of my desk, sat with her head bowed down. I could see her spine
through her shirt, which was pulled tightly across her back as she lent forward.
Each little bony bump was exposed and made her look hardly human. I wanted to
reach out and run my finger down her protruding bones and count the little
bumps. I didn’t. I never did. Her hair was perfectly straight and not a hair was
out of place. It was long too, reaching her waist. Her skin was untouched by
the ruling star of our Earth. Glistening, her eyes caught every ray of light.
You could see your reflection in them very clearly. The pathetic school bell
sounded and the class battled to reach the exit. Charlotte didn't move. I got
up slowly and put my books back in my bag. By this time the class room was
almost empty. Charlotte raised her dainty body out of her chair and walked out
of the classroom.
I walked past the art corridor. Paintings crowded the walls
and my heart swelled with discomfort. A dark disfigured figure standing in
woodland. A portrait of a pale young girl with eyes that captured pain and
sorrow. A raven sat proudly on a rooftop arrogantly spreading out his wings. I
could taste sweat from my upper lip. I told myself to relax but they were
watching me. I hurried to my dorm and shut the door with force. Silence.
However my mind was in chaos.
I had a strange dream that night. I remember I was in a
garden and the moonbeams guided me to a stone fountain. Water resembling melted
metal rippled at the base of the fountain. I sat at the edge and watched the
silver water play. Two eyes emerged in the liquid and gazed at me. My body grew
paralysed as your body does in dreams. Yes, it was a strange dream indeed.
7th October
I found myself sitting in the dining hall, long tables
stretched out on either side of me. Reverberating voices bounced around the
large room, accented by high ceilings and the marble floor. The ever present draft
carried a faint smell of cooked food, candles and contempt. I glanced around
the hall, in one corner an agitated group were in a heated debate. Some sat
with their arms crossed, spectating. Others leant forward thirsty for their
chance to add to the debate. Arrogance and boasting were certainly dominant
elements present in the atmosphere. They were all frightened to be made irrelevant
and desperate to gain approval and recognition from their peers. Behind me, a
new couple teased each other and giggled loudly. They were holding hands under
the table and looked playfully into each other’s eyes. I understand why people
who are in love hold hands. Before, I believed it was related to possession.
However, now I understand it’s about maintaining contact, having a conversation
without the use of words and reassurance of their commitment. Across the room,
in front of me, was Charlotte emitting confidence and independence. With the
edge of my fork I began playing with my food, rolling peas back and forth
across the plate. I glanced up expecting to see Charlotte, but instead there
was an empty place. I discretely scanned the dining hall and felt a sense of
relief to see that she hadn’t left, but was walking towards me. With the same
confidence and independence she sat down next to me.
“Charlotte”, she introduced herself.
“I know”, I replied far to eagerly “ I’m Noah”. She paused
and smirked
“I know”. She stood up and took my hand, guiding me to St
Mary’s School grounds. We briskly walked down a narrow path leading into a
wooded area. Intrigued by the woodland’s complicated and somewhat dark beauty.
I absorbed everything nature had to offer. It was all immensely overwhelming.
It was almost suffocating me with its power. Trees sat in their thrones of
leaves, bragging about their strength and disobedience. The wind battled to be
above the trees, neither surrendering. Charlotte stopped behind a birch tree
and took out of her pocket some bread. She broke apart the bread into tiny crumbs
and laid them out on a tree stump. We sat on the patchwork quilt and patiently
waited. After some time, a raven swooped down and pecked harshly at the crumbs.
“Nature is screaming to be noticed”, Charlotte finally said.
“It’s quite something”, I replied.
“Beauty is everywhere,” she began, “ And I think it’s sad
that we don’t appreciate it as much as we ought to”, she started talking about
observing different types of beauty. I felt comfortable around Charlotte. She
was unique. Not because of the way she looked on the outside, but her
prospection of the Earth. She saw things differently to most people. What she
saw was big and colourful and stunning. She saw extreme beauty in nature. And
it felt warm in my chest, surrounded by security. After she had finished, I
spoke passionately about my observations. I could see myself in her mirror-like
eyes. I looked different however. I couldn't quite grasp what was out of place.
The reflection looked like me: dark hair, fair skin, dark eyes. I suddenly came
to realize that I was talking, whereas my reflection was numb and motionless. I
searched my knowledge struggling to make sense of this. I must have stopped
talking mid-sentence. Suddenly her eyes were no longer silvery or mirror-like.
They were grey. Dark grey, like the velvety clouds hanging low in the sky.
"Bare trees besieged the building" by Isabella Podesta
